moody.

I often get in these moods. Moods where I either crave pure adventure or complete solitude. I definitely need both for my sanity, but lately I have been having too much solitude. No I’m not depressed. No I’m not sad. I just thoroughly enjoy being on my own. However, I definitely need to add more adventure to the solitude. I need to start doing more of the things I enjoy. What is this life if it is not spent enjoying the comforts? What is this life if I am not taking advantage of the simple pleasures? What is this life if I am not fully living? “I wanna live before I die”. Sure, we have to work to support ourselves but work is not life. I repeat work is not life. Enjoy yourself. Enjoy this life. I am talking you. I am talking to me.

KBS.

eat me.

“The problem is that we are not eating food anymore, we are eating food like products”

 

Over the past five weeks or so I have completely adjusted what I am putting into my body. It was not an easy process and it did not come quickly. This has been slow. I honestly take it day-by-day.

It started with simply adding more fruits and vegetables in every day. I really enjoy making green smoothies to sneak in a lot of vegetables, but I can only have those when I am in town. So on trips I really have to eat as many vegetables as humanly possible. After adding fruits and vegetables I started to remove the junk. All of this is not a new discovery to me, I know how to eat right, but it is challenging. I threw out the naughty snacks and anything with processed sugar etc. I aimed for a plant based centric way of eating.

After two weeks or so I wanted to play with removing other food elements and see how I felt. I dedicated an entire week to vegetarian meals. I felt great! I was a vegetarian a few years back but I think I did it for all the wrong reasons so I gave up after a while. Removing the meat from my meals for even one week made me feel a little less sluggish. Lately I have been experimenting with vegan meals. I felt even better without dairy. I am not saying I am going to be a vegetarian or a vegan. I do not want to label myself as anything. People judge one so harshly over these sorts of labels, not that it really matters what they think. But I feel as though they judge one so harshly for making a choice on food…a choice that does not concern them in any way! 

I simply just want to eat a healthy plant based diet, and foods that make me feel good. Of course the looking good aspect of it all is nice. I am not where I would like to be weight or body-wise, but that is okay. Every day is a challenge, but it has not been as hard. It has almost become second nature for me to reach for an apple or make a sandwich filled with veggies. You have to indulge occasionally because that is balance, love. I definitely had some french fries the other day, but it did not stop me from eating healthy and clean the rest of the day.

I urge you to look at what you are eating. Watch some food documentaries while you are at it. I recommend “Forks Over Knives” and “Food Matters”. These documentaries really break down nutrition for you and completely open your eyes. Perhaps you will join me on this journey and we can inspire each other.

 

KBS.

17620367_10210826663640425_6742499039163005978_o“Finishing a good book is like leaving a good friend.”

-William Feather
I have never really enjoyed books that much until I got into my 20s. Perhaps it was because reading was required in school. It felt more like a punishment than a rewarding experience. Now I simply read for enjoyment. I feel lucky to have a job that lets me get a lot of reading done. It sort of makes me look forward to going to work, actually.

My reading preferences are all over the place. Fiction, nonfiction, biography, suspense, etc. I like it all, for the most part. I really enjoy fiction though. I love getting lost in a storyline. I have really high hopes for relationships solely based on fictional characters. My love life is destined to fail, basically.

Lately I have been following everything Emma Roberts has been reading. Her instagram is covered in books she is currently reading. I found myself in a book slump so I decided to read what she was reading. I have yet to be disappointed. Recently she and a friend created an online book club called Belletrist. The book in the picture is the current read of the month, South and West by Joan Didion. I finished this book the other day and it was not what I expected, but in a good way. It made me miss New Orleans. I would like to read more by Joan Didion in the future. I am so thrilled that I can be apart of this book club and I cannot wait to fall in love with more books.

KBS.

 

 

0446 in chicago.

remember when it was all so natural?

when your mind did not keep you up at night.

remember all of the plans that you made?

i forgot to remember them.

remember all of the times you said never again?

i remember those mistakes.

forget, just forget.

KBS.

“But I didn’t consider myself a real writer. I had one skill and that was to lie in bed…I loved being alone in my room. I mean, that was the real love.”

When Watched by Leopoldine Core

It is 1:12am and I am sorting through my makeup. This is the third time I have gone through it, overall. I find myself throwing away foundations I have not used in months and old eyeshadows that are likely expired because you don’t remember when you bought them. I see makeup brushes I never use. I see the same red lipstick multiple times. “No, they’re not the same”, she screams. How did I let this obsession take over me? I hardly wear much makeup anymore and I use a lot of the same products daily. So why do I have more than I need? I ask myself that question a lot, in more aspects than just beauty products. My stock is becoming less and less. I don’t want countless drawers full of lipstick. I don’t need ten foundations. Why does anyone have more than one or two eyeshadow palettes? Why do I need so many nude lipsticks? The cool tones. The warm tones. Throw them away, only keep what is necessary. I remember when I used to think a full face of makeup was beautiful. Don’t get me wrong, it is still beautiful, but I don’t think it makes me beautiful. I embrace the skin tints that still let my imperfections peek through. I like my skin to look like skin. Your flaws are beautiful. I am not bashing makeup. I love makeup, always have. I am just embracing the evolution taking place in me…the me at 1:32am that is throwing out makeup because it does not make up me.

KBS.