I would like to welcome all of you fellow spinsters to a new series on my blog called, obviously, “Dear Spinsters”. Here we can discuss the Spinster Lifestyle and the many perks it comes with. Yes, there are perks. We are not bitter, just salty.
Volume I: Fuckboys
To my dear sweet (salty) Spinsters, I present to you le fuckboy. We have all experienced them in our lives, am I right? They text you late at night after three months of no contact. They want all of the benefits of a relationship without the commitment. They want their ego stroked, among other things. Fuckboys are well known and awful. But I have good news, Spinsters. WE DON’T NEED THEM! The Spinster Lifestyle does not require a relationship, especially one of the fuckboy persuasion. That is just the beginning of the perks.
Here are some things I like more than a fuckboy & even some salty responses to their texts (also applicable to fellow Spinsters):
I would rather look at memes than pictures of your dong.
- Yes, “I’m up” but I’m too busy watching Netflix to be bothered.
- You’re not looking for a relationship? Neither am I so leave me alone.
- “Let’s just have some fun”. I find naps and books fun and you’re neither of those things.
- “Send nudes”. Send me a pizza.
Obviously fuckboys are the worst. I like to cut them off early. I would rather not entertain them. Although I am all for sending them sassy responses, but that gets old and tired, just like their games. You are a salty Spinster and you could not care less about a fuckboy. So the first ingredient to the recipe for the Spinster Lifestyle is throw away all of the fuckboys. Then add salt. Keep it extra salty my Spinsters.