what kind of vibe am I giving off?

Honestly, I have had a weird week in relation to men. I ended things with one for several reasons. It is honestly such a fantastic story but I will save that for a later post, maybe. Request it if you really want to hear about the entire fiasco! Perhaps I will slightly indulge you with an excerpt in this post. Hmm. Anyways, I met a very creepy man on my layover in Los Angeles and my mom told me one of her coworkers (my age) thinks I am the one. Mind you, I have never met this coworker of hers. I do not know what kind of vibe I am putting out into the universe lately, but I really do not like it.

Let’s start with Jared. He was a guy I was fairly interested in last year. The timing was off so he basically ended things and then disappeared. Whatever, it happens. Then this past January, he zombied me (get it?). I decided to hear him out and possibly give him a second chance. I was interested in him before, so why not? The second trial was a complete disaster. He seemed to be lacking a lot of confidence. I felt as though I was doing a lot of the work and that just was not right. He asked me for the second chance and frankly, he blew it. He did not have his shit together at all. He said the word “budget” way too much in seven weeks. He didn’t even officially take me out ONCE. The fuck, bruh! I do not have time to wait around for someone to get it together. I refuse to be that boring and I refuse to settle for anything less than what I want.

I was minding my own business, poolside, in Los Angeles on my layover. Here comes this man who would not stop staring at me. He came up to where I was lounging and asked if he could sit by me. I awkwardly said okay. Man, was that only the beginning of the awkward encounter. We shook hands and he kissed my hand (ehhhh). He sat REALLY close to me…uncomfortably close. He asked me about my interests and what I like. I told him I like books and naps, why lie? HA. Then he asked me have lunch with him after a one minute conversation. He was REALLY confident and sure that I was into him. This man could not have been worse at reading body language. I was barely even replying back to him. He interrupted my layover rest period for crying out loud! I only get a certain amount of time away from people on my layovers and he was ruining it. The conversation continued, dull and hardly even cordial. I then told him I would like to go back to reading my book and he asked me if he could kiss me. I’m sorry, what?! I shot him a very solid NO. Quite the odd encounter.

Lastly, there is Alan. Apparently he is a coworker of my mom and he thinks I might be “the one”. Keep in mind that I have never met this person. My mom texted me about Alan and wanted to know what I thought. Let me tell you, the picture I received was the most poor quality. It looked like a myspace picture from 2008. Phones nowadays have way better photo-taking capabilities. He may need a new phone. Besides the terrible photo and lack of interest, I am not willing to date or pursue anything outside of Portland. No way am I even considering any sort of long-distance relationship. Sorry, Alan. Sorry, Mom.

Apparently I am the flavor of the week.

KBS.

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